Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.

We’re all walking around with wounds we don’t talk about, aren’t we? We cover them up with a smile, throw on that “I’m fine” mask, and keep moving like we’re invincible. But behind closed doors, it’s a different story. You’ve had days where the weight of the world felt unbearable, where getting out of bed was the hardest thing you did all day, where you questioned why you even bother trying because everything seems to be working against you.

But nobody talks about that part. We’re conditioned to show strength in the face of pain, to act like we’re unfazed, like the things that broke us didn’t actually leave permanent cracks in our spirit. But here’s the thing—those cracks? They’re real. They’re part of you. And pretending they’re not doesn’t make them go away.

We’ve all been hurt. People have let us down. Life has thrown punches we didn’t see coming. It’s left us breathless, questioning our worth, wondering why we weren’t good enough for certain people or opportunities. The pain gets so deep sometimes it feels like it’s carved out a piece of your soul and left you hollow. And the worst part? It’s invisible to everyone else. They don’t see the war you’re fighting on the inside because you’re so damn good at hiding it.

But let’s stop hiding for a second. Let’s talk about what it really means to be hurt and what it takes to heal. Because healing isn’t a straight line—it’s messy, it’s chaotic, and it’s full of setbacks. Healing looks like waking up one day feeling like you’re finally over it, only to be triggered by the smallest thing a week later, and suddenly, you’re back in that pain like it never left. It’s wanting to move on but not knowing how. It’s two steps forward, one step back, and sometimes the steps back feel heavier than the progress forward.

But let me tell you something: that’s normal. It’s part of the process. Healing is a dance, not a sprint. You’ll have days when you feel like you’re on top of the world and days when the grief sneaks up on you out of nowhere. And that doesn’t mean you’re weak, or broken, or failing. It means you’re human. It means you’re doing the work to heal even when it feels impossible. It means that underneath all that pain, you’re growing. You’re changing. You’re becoming someone who refuses to let their past dictate their future.

And that’s where the power is. Forgetting what hurt you isn’t about pretending the pain didn’t happen. It’s not about erasing the past. It’s about releasing the grip it has on you. You’re allowed to let go of the hurt without letting go of the lesson. In fact, you should let go of the hurt. Because carrying that pain with you? It’s exhausting. It’s like dragging a deadweight everywhere you go, and it’s draining the life out of you.

What you need to hold onto are the lessons that came from the pain. Yeah, it broke you, but it also built something new inside of you. Maybe it showed you who’s real in your life and who’s just there for the good times. Maybe it taught you to stop putting your happiness in someone else’s hands. Maybe it was a reminder that your worth isn’t defined by how someone else treats you.

Think about it—the people who hurt you? They don’t deserve to keep taking up space in your mind. They don’t deserve to control your thoughts, your mood, your future. They had their moment, and now it’s over. But the version of you that came out of that pain? The one who knows their worth? The one who isn’t afraid to say, “Enough. I deserve better”? That’s who you are now.

And yes, it’s tempting to look back and wonder what went wrong. It’s human to wish you could have done something different to prevent the hurt. But what’s done is done. The past doesn’t get to have a say in where you go next unless you give it permission. You have to decide that what you learned is more valuable than what you lost. That’s where healing begins—not in erasing the pain, but in accepting it as part of your story without letting it become your whole identity.

And let’s be real for a second—healing isn’t about finding closure. Sometimes, you’re not going to get the apology you deserve. Sometimes, the people who hurt you will never acknowledge what they did. And sometimes, you have to be okay with that. Not for them, but for you. Because holding out for someone else to give you peace is a losing game. You can’t depend on anyone else to make you feel whole. That’s your job. You’re the one responsible for picking up the pieces and putting yourself back together in a way that makes you stronger, wiser, more resilient than before.

So, forget what hurt you—not by pretending it didn’t happen, but by choosing not to carry the pain anymore. Let it go because it doesn’t serve you. Let it go because it’s not who you are. But remember what it taught you. Hold on to that with everything you’ve got. Because that’s what’s going to guide you the next time life throws something at you. And trust me, life will test you again. You will face more hurt, more disappointment, more challenges. But now you’re different. Now you know how to heal. You know what you deserve. You know when to walk away.

And here’s the truth—they say time heals all wounds, but that’s not really it. It’s what you do with the time that heals you. It’s the inner work, the hard conversations with yourself, the boundaries you set, the love you start giving yourself. That’s where the real healing happens. It’s not about forgetting the pain, it’s about remembering your power.

Because you, right now, in this moment, are stronger than you were before. Not because you haven’t been hurt, but because you’ve survived it. You’ve learned. You’ve grown. And that’s what you carry forward. That’s what defines you. The pain? That’s just a chapter in your story. It’s not the whole book. You’re still writing the rest.