Ever caught yourself expecting certain behaviors or actions from the people around you? We all do it from time to time. The problem is that when you expect too much from others, it often leads to disappointment, frustration, and hurt feelings. The truth is, you can’t control how other people act or what they do. You can only control your reactions and responses. So why not do yourself a favor and stop expecting so much from the people around you?
Lower your expectations of others, and you’ll find yourself feeling less resentful and let down. You’ll appreciate the good things people do for you instead of taking them for granted. And you’ll be able to accept people as they are, flaws and all, instead of wishing they would change to suit you. The less you expect from others, the happier and more at peace you’ll feel. So do yourself a favor: stop expecting so much from the people around you and start focusing on the only thing you can control: yourself.
Focus on yourself, not what others do.
Stop wasting your energy on what other people should or shouldn’t do. You’ll be so much happier when you focus on yourself instead.
Pay attention to your own actions and reactions. Notice the times you get upset over small things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Take a step back and ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it because of unrealistic expectations you have of others?
Stop trying to control people and situations that are out of your control. The only person you can control is yourself. Make choices that align with your values and priorities. Don’t worry so much about what others choose to do.
You can’t control how other people act or what they do. The only thing you have power over are your own reactions and responses. When you stop expecting certain behaviors from others, you’ll feel less frustrated and disappointed.
People are imperfect. Everyone has good and bad days. No one can meet all of your expectations at once. Accept that people will mess up, let you down, and not always do what you want them to do.
Focus on yourself. Rather than trying to change people or force them to act how you want, work on bettering yourself. Improve your own attitude and outlook. Choose not to let the actions of others affect you so deeply.
Communicate clearly. While you can’t control others, you can make your needs and boundaries known. Calmly and politely tell people how their behavior makes you feel and what you expect from your relationships. Be open to listening to their perspective as well. Clear communication can help set proper expectations on both sides.
Don’t take things personally. Most of the time, people’s actions say more about them than you. Try not to take slights or callousness to heart. Remind yourself that you cannot control others; you can only influence them. Do not give people power over you by making their words or deeds personal attacks.
When you meet your own essential needs and experience a sense of personal growth, you’ll find that you naturally become less dependent on what others do or don’t do for you. Any disappointment from unmet expectations of people around you won’t cut as deep. You’ll recognize that you alone are responsible for your happiness and wellbeing.
- Stop expecting to receive something from someone who cannot give. When someone has shown you who they are, stop expecting them to be able to become someone entirely different. You can’t change them.
- Stop expecting other people to be responsible for your emotions. Yes, seek support and validation from those you love but be your own emotional caretaker.
- Stop expecting people to take feedback or fulfill your needs when you provide requests in critical or contemptuous ways. Blaming or shaming will guarantee that you won’t get what it is you seek.
- Stop expecting people to prioritize your feelings, preferences, opinions, and needs. While it would be nice, people have their own lives and stuff to deal with. Self-advocacy has to be your baseline. If you want/don’t want something say it. This is your power, take it.
- Stop expecting others to validate your emotions with ease when your emotions suggest a story in opposition to theirs. Learn how to differentiate so you can tolerate differing perspectives. Multiple truths can exist and be honored at the same time.
- Stop expecting people to be perfect. Everyone has limitations and makes mistakes. Resist the rigidity of expectation and let go the shock and/or shame response to someone else’s flaws.
- Stop expecting people to respect your boundaries without having ever set and/or reinforced them.
- Stop expecting people to read your mind. It’s not a test. Tell them what you’re thinking!
WEEKLY AFFIRMATIONS ON SHIFTING EXPECTATIONS
💚 I’m going to stop forcing this situation. Let go.
💚 If the door won’t open, it’s not my door.
💚 I choose inner happiness, regardless of exterior circumstances.
💚 I set goals based on my own values.
💚 Today, I exude confidence.
💚 I have faith, and I have a vision.
💚 I let go of all expectations.
💚 I’m going to find a way to grow from this.
💚 I am open to receiving new possibilities.
💚 Things will change soon enough.
💚 I release old beliefs that no longer serve me.
💚 I’m on an interesting journey!
💚 The practice is important, not the outcome.
💚 I allow the higher plan for my life to unfold.
💚 I no longer need to compare myself to others.