Stop Taking Constructive Criticism from People Who Have Never Constructed What You Are Going Through

Family let’s get real for a moment. One of the biggest mistakes we make on our healing journeys is giving weight to feedback from people who’ve never actually lived our experience. Whether it’s commentary from friends, advice from coworkers, or “constructive criticism” from people who think they know better—they can often do more harm than good.

Commentary vs. Counsel

There’s a huge difference between commentary and counsel. Commentary is easy. It’s loud, cheap, and often judgment disguised as helpful advice. Counsel, on the other hand, comes from lived experience. It’s guidance rooted in wisdom, scars, and lessons that have been earned.

I had to learn the hard way that not every voice should have access to my inner world. Some people will critique your steps because it’s comfortable for them—not because it helps you. As I like to say, “Not everybody who has something to say has something worth listening to.”

Lived Experience Matters

True guidance comes from those who’ve walked a road similar to yours. Someone who’s never faced the weight of your struggles may unintentionally offer advice that diminishes your experience. Their words might be well-meaning, but they’re often incomplete.

“Wisdom that hasn’t been tested in real life is just opinion dressed up in nice words.”

When you prioritize advice from those who’ve actually navigated similar storms, you protect your energy and honor your growth.

Protecting Your Healing Space

Your healing is sacred. Your process is sacred. And not everyone deserves a front-row seat to your journey. Protecting your space is not rude—it’s radical self-care. It’s saying, “I deserve to heal without being picked apart, without being compared, without being minimized.”

Sometimes that means setting boundaries, sometimes it means walking away, and sometimes it just means closing your ears. Silence can be one of your most powerful tools.

When to Receive vs. When to Release

Not every word meant for you deserves a permanent home in your spirit. The trick is discerning what to receive and what to release. Ask yourself:

1. Does this person understand the weight I’m carrying?

2. Does their perspective align with my truth?

3. Does this empower me, or diminish me?

“You can hear without absorbing. You can listen without living in their fear.”

Healing from Unqualified Voices

Family, your healing belongs to you. Your vision belongs to you. And your journey is yours to walk. Don’t let commentary, projection, or unqualified criticism derail your growth. Protect your peace, honor your path, and trust your process.

“The loudest voice in your life should be the one inside you saying, ‘Keep going.’”

Final Thoughts

Next time someone offers advice, pause and ask yourself: have they ever constructed what I’m going through? If the answer is no, thank them for their input and keep building anyway. Not every voice is meant to echo in your healing space—and that’s exactly how it should be.

Family, remember this: you are seen. You are valued. You are supported. Protect your peace, trust your process, and keep building your life, one intentional step at a time.

💚 Want to dive deeper? Listen to the full discussion on the Room2Breathe Podcast where we explore commentary vs. counsel, lived experience, and protecting your healing space. Listen Here