Living a Soft Life: Embracing the Beauty of Imperfection in a Messy, Real World

Let’s talk about the beauty of being a work in progress. Because, let’s be real, we live in a world that constantly pushes us toward perfection—whether it’s social media, where everyone’s life looks flawless, or this idea that we need to have it all together all the time. But let me tell you something: perfection is a lie. It doesn’t exist, and chasing it is exhausting.

We’re so busy trying to make everything look perfect that we miss the good stuff—the messy, raw, beautiful moments that make life real. The truth is, life happens in the mess. It’s in the times when things don’t go as planned, when mistakes happen, when we fall flat on our faces and have to pick ourselves back up. That’s where the magic is.

Think about it—every mistake you’ve ever made has shaped you into the person you are today. The imperfections? That’s where the growth happens. That’s where you learn who you really are.

Let me give you an example. I once planned this huge event for my business. I was obsessed with making everything perfect. I spent weeks stressing over the tiniest details, down to the color of the napkins. The day of the event? Everything went wrong. People were late, the weather didn’t cooperate, things didn’t show up on time—it was chaos. I thought it was a disaster. But here’s the thing: no one cared about the “flaws.” People had an amazing time, they connected, they laughed, and they left feeling inspired. That day taught me something huge: perfection doesn’t matter. Showing up does.

And isn’t that what life’s all about? It’s not about nailing it every time; it’s about showing up, even when things get messy, even when you’re not at your best.

Now, I know embracing imperfection sounds good in theory, but it’s a whole different thing to live it. So, let’s break it down into some real, actionable ways you can start letting go of the need for perfection and embrace your unique, messy journey.

1. Set “Good Enough” Goals

Instead of aiming for perfect, aim for good enough. If you’re waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect plan, you’ll be waiting forever. Take workouts, for example. Maybe you don’t have time for a full hour at the gym—so what? Do 15 minutes. A quick walk or some stretches. It’s better than nothing, and it keeps you moving forward.

Actionable Tip: Break your goals into smaller, doable chunks. If you’re working on a project, give yourself permission to make progress, not perfection. It’s the baby steps that matter, not the giant leaps.

2. Reframe Your Mistakes

Mistakes are going to happen, period. But instead of beating yourself up when things go wrong, ask yourself, What can I learn from this? Shift your mindset from perfection to growth. Every mistake is a lesson, not a failure.

Actionable Tip: When things don’t go as planned, take a minute to reflect. Write down what went wrong and how you can approach it differently next time. Mistakes don’t define you—they refine you.

3. Let Go of “All or Nothing” Thinking

Perfectionism loves to make us think it’s all or nothing. But life isn’t black and white—it’s full of gray areas. You don’t have to give up on a goal just because you didn’t hit it perfectly. Did you skip a workout? So what? Don’t throw the whole week away. Keep moving forward, even if it’s messy.

Actionable Tip: Catch yourself when you’re in that “all or nothing” mindset. Ask, What’s one small thing I can do right now to make progress? It doesn’t have to be perfect to count.

4. Celebrate Your Imperfections

Start laughing at yourself a little more. Did you spill coffee on your shirt on the way to a big meeting? Embrace it! You’re human. Those messy moments are what make life interesting.

Actionable Tip: Start an “imperfection journal.” Write down the funny, messy, or downright embarrassing things that happen to you each day. Celebrate them. Over time, you’ll realize that those are the moments that make life real.

5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison is a thief. When we compare our behind-the-scenes mess to someone else’s highlight reel, we feel like we’re falling short. But remember, everyone’s dealing with their own imperfections—they just don’t always show it.

Actionable Tip: If you catch yourself scrolling through social media and feeling bad about yourself, take a break. Instead, focus on your own journey. Every day, write down three things you’re proud of. Celebrate your progress, not someone else’s.

6. Embrace Vulnerability

Perfectionism makes us hide our flaws. But vulnerability is power. When you show up as your authentic self, flaws and all, that’s when you connect with others on a deeper level. Stop trying to be “perfect” in your relationships—just be real.

Actionable Tip: The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you don’t have it all together, share that with someone you trust. Be open about your struggles. Vulnerability builds real, meaningful connections.

7. Practice “Good Enough” Self-Care

Self-care doesn’t need to be perfect, either. You don’t have to have a picture-perfect spa day for it to count. Sometimes self-care is messy—like crying in the shower after a hard day or just grabbing a nap because you’re too tired to do anything else.

Actionable Tip: Write a list of small, imperfect self-care activities you can do when you’re low on time or energy. Whether it’s a quick 5-minute stretch or a short nap, remember that taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be a big production.

8. Set Boundaries Around Perfectionism

Sometimes perfectionism comes from the pressure we feel from others. Whether it’s work, family, or society, we feel like we have to constantly be on our A-game. But setting boundaries is essential to letting go of perfection. You don’t have to say “yes” to everything, and you don’t have to be everything to everyone.

Actionable Tip: Learn to say “no” when your plate is too full. Protect your time and energy by setting boundaries around what you can and can’t do. Remember, saying no isn’t failure—it’s self-preservation.

9. Practice Self-Compassion

You’ll have bad days. You’ll mess up. You’ll feel like you’re falling short sometimes. And that’s okay. The key is to talk to yourself kindly. Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a friend who’s going through a rough time.

Actionable Tip: Create a mantra for yourself, like, “I am allowed to be a work in progress.” Repeat it when you’re feeling down or not measuring up. Give yourself the grace to be human.

10. Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

Perfectionism makes us obsess over the end result. But when we focus on the process—on learning, growing, and enjoying the ride—we realize that life isn’t about the perfect endgame. It’s about the journey.

Actionable Tip: Start asking yourself, What did I learn today? instead of Did I hit my goal? Shifting your focus to learning instead of outcomes will help you appreciate the process, even when it’s messy.

At the end of the day, life is never going to be perfect, and neither are you. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s beautiful. Embrace the imperfections. They’re what make you you. They’re where the growth happens, the connections are made, and the magic unfolds.  So let’s stop chasing perfection and start showing up—messy, real, and unapologetically us. Because you are a masterpiece and a work in progress, all at the same time.