DAY 18 - My loyalty kept me in some situations common sense should’ve taken me out of.

I want to talk about a subject that resonates deeply with many of us: loyalty. It's a trait that's often celebrated, admired, and seen as a cornerstone of our relationships. But today, I want to explore the other side of loyalty—the side where our unwavering dedication to others can sometimes lead us down paths that common sense would have advised against.

We've all been there. We've all stayed in situations, relationships, or jobs far longer than we should have because of our loyalty. We’ve convinced ourselves that things will get better, that our loyalty will pay off, or that we owe it to the other person to stick around. But in doing so, we often ignore the signs, the red flags, and our own well-being.

Loyalty is a beautiful thing. It's what makes us stand by our friends, support our families, and commit to our partners. But it's also what can blind us to the reality of our situations. Sometimes, loyalty keeps us in toxic relationships where we're taken for granted. Sometimes, it makes us stay in jobs where we're undervalued and overworked. And sometimes, it holds us in friendships that drain us rather than uplift us.

So why do we let our loyalty override our common sense? For me, it was the fear of letting others down, the hope that things would change, and the belief that loyalty was the ultimate virtue. But here's the truth: loyalty should never come at the cost of our own happiness and mental health.

It's important to recognize when our loyalty is being misplaced. It's not disloyal to prioritize your own well-being. It's not disloyal to walk away from situations that no longer serve you. In fact, it's an act of self-respect. It's acknowledging that you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love.

Think about a time when you stayed in a situation out of loyalty, even though common sense told you otherwise. Reflect on how that affected you—your happiness, your energy, your peace of mind. Now, imagine what could have been different if you had listened to your intuition, if you had put yourself first.

It's not easy to break free from the chains of misplaced loyalty. It takes courage to walk away from what no longer serves you. But it's a necessary step towards living a life that's true to yourself.

Remember, loyalty is not about sacrificing your own needs for others. It's about mutual respect and support. It's about being there for others while also being there for yourself. You can be loyal and still set boundaries. You can be loyal and still choose yourself.

Loyalty

Loyalty is a strong feeling of allegiance or faithfulness to someone or something. It’s a commitment to stand by and support others, often driven by a sense of duty, love, or obligation. Loyalty is about maintaining trust and honoring relationships, whether they are personal or professional. It's what makes us stick with friends through tough times, support family members no matter what, and stay committed to partners despite challenges.

Common Sense

Common Sense refers to practical judgment concerning everyday matters, or a basic ability to perceive, understand, and judge things which are shared by nearly all people. It’s the intuitive understanding of the best action to take in a given situation, often based on experience and straightforward reasoning. Common sense helps us make decisions that are logical and in our best interest, often protecting us from harm and guiding us towards beneficial outcomes.

Loyalty vs. Common Sense

While both loyalty and common sense are valuable traits, they can sometimes be at odds with each other. Here’s how:

• Loyalty might encourage you to stay in a difficult relationship out of a sense of duty, love, or the hope that things will improve. Common sense, on the other hand, might recognize that the relationship is unhealthy and suggest that it’s best to move on for your well-being.
• Loyalty can make you stick with a job that undervalues you because you feel committed to your employer or colleagues. Common sense might tell you that it’s time to seek better opportunities where your skills are appreciated and rewarded.
• Loyalty may push you to continuously support a friend who frequently takes advantage of your kindness. Common sense would advise setting boundaries to protect your emotional health.

Balancing Loyalty and Common Sense

Balancing loyalty and common sense is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. Here are a few tips on how to achieve that balance:

1. Evaluate the Situation: Regularly assess your relationships and commitments. Are they mutually beneficial? Are you being treated with respect and care?
2. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to be loyal, but also set boundaries to protect your own well-being. Communicate your needs and limits clearly.
3. Trust Your Instincts: If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don’t ignore red flags just because you feel loyal to someone.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Remember that loyalty to yourself is just as important as loyalty to others. Make decisions that support your mental, emotional, and physical health.
5. Seek Balance: Aim to be loyal without sacrificing your common sense. Strive for relationships and situations where both your loyalty and your logical judgment are respected.

So let's redefine loyalty. Let's make it about mutual respect, about giving and receiving equally, and about staying true to ourselves. Let's trust our common sense and intuition to guide us towards relationships and situations that truly nourish us.