Respect and Protect Boundaries Workshop (Sacred Sounds Oasis Retreat)

Workshop Objectives:

1. Understand the importance of personal boundaries.
2. Identify various types of boundaries.
3. Learn strategies for setting and maintaining boundaries.
4. Practice effective communication of boundaries.

Introduction 

Thank you for joining us today for the "Respect and Protect Boundaries" workshop.   I am thrilled to be here with all of you today for the Sacred Sounds Oasis Retreat. My name is Shawnta’, better known as LifeCoach614, and I am a Master Certified Self Care & Boundaries Life Coach.  That just means I have made the choice to spread Positivity, on Purpose.  Here on BIGO, at 9am EST weekdays, I host a live group coaching session called “Room 2 Breathe” where members of the community meet to collectively enhance our self-care.  

The purpose of my workshop today is to explore the importance of setting healthy boundaries and how they can positively impact your life. Boundaries are essential for maintaining self-respect, reducing stress, and fostering healthier relationships. Whether you are new to this concept or looking to strengthen your existing boundaries, this workshop is designed to provide you with practical tools and insights.

I encourage you to actively participate and remember when taking notes to write down any questions that arise in preparation of the Q&A segment later. Remember, this is a safe space where we can learn and grow together.  If at any point, something resonates with you, please be sure to place green hearts in the chat to signify that my words are speaking to your heart, helping you grow through the things you are going through in life.

I’d like to start by sharing a personal story about my own journey with boundaries. (5 minutes)

Back in 2019, I found myself constantly overwhelmed and exhausted. I didn’t know it then, but I was suffering from the disease to please.  I was saying "yes" to everything, often at the expense of my own well-being. I was showing up for everyone, but myself.  I thought I was being a good friend, a dedicated employee, and a supportive partner, but in reality, my cup was being drained faster than I was able to refill it.

One day, after yet another sleepless night, I realized something had to change. I decided to go to therapy to process my feelings & emotions.  It was at this time I realized how little boundaries I had for myself.  With the help of my therapist, I began to draw a line in the sand, and stand my ground.  I will admit, at first, it was difficult. I felt guilty for saying "no", my anxiety kept me afraid of disappointing others. But as I continued setting these boundaries, I noticed a significant improvement in my stress levels and overall happiness.  My cup stayed filled longer, and I realized that I was still able to help others fill theirs.

One of the most impactful moments was when I had a heartfelt conversation with my husband. I explained that while I loved supporting our family, I needed to take care of myself too.  And that I wanted him to do the same.  To my surprise, my husband was incredibly understanding and supportive. This experience taught me that setting boundaries doesn’t just protect our own well-being, but also enhances our relationships by fostering mutual respect and understanding.

Today, I’m here to share what I’ve learned on my journey and to help you discover the power of Respecting & Protecting boundaries in your own life. 

Let's take a moment to discuss What are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits and guidelines we set for ourselves in interactions with others. They define what we are comfortable with and how we expect to be treated. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, mental, and even digital. They help us protect our personal space, emotions, and time, and ensure that our needs are met.  Consider them your personal Use of Care Instructions.  

Boundaries are key to achieving a balanced and fulfilling life. They help you:

1. Boost Self-Worth and Confidence: Setting boundaries shows that you respect yourself and your needs, which enhances your self-esteem and confidence.
2. Foster Healthy Relationships: Clear boundaries create mutual respect and understanding, reducing conflicts and strengthening connections.
3. Manage Stress and Support Mental Health: Boundaries protect you from overcommitment and burnout, allowing you time to relax and maintain a healthy mental state.
4. Empower Personal Choice and Independence: Boundaries enable you to make decisions that align with your values and needs, promoting a sense of autonomy and fulfillment.
5. Protect Overall Well-Being: They ensure your physical, emotional, and mental health are safeguarded, creating a safe and supportive environment for yourself.

In essence, boundaries are crucial for maintaining self-respect, fostering positive relationships, managing stress, and leading a more empowered and satisfying life. By setting and honoring boundaries, you can create a life that feels balanced, respected, and true to your personal values.

 There are 4 Types of Boundaries:

• Physical Boundaries: These pertain to personal space and physical touch. For example, deciding who can hug you or enter your personal space.
• Emotional Boundaries: These involve separating your feelings from others'. It means not taking on others' emotional burdens and not letting others dictate your feelings.
• Mental Boundaries: These relate to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Respecting your own viewpoints and not letting others influence your beliefs unduly.
• Time Boundaries: These involve how you manage your time. It means allocating time for yourself and not overcommitting to others.

5-Minute Guided Reflection Exercise to Identify & Set Your Personal Boundaries

Take a deep breath and find a comfortable position. This guided reflection exercise will help you identify your personal boundaries by exploring your needs and limits. Allow yourself to be honest and gentle with yourself during this process.

Exercise:

1. Grounding (1 minute)

• Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly through your mouth.
• Allow yourself to relax and focus on the present moment.

2. Reflect on Your Needs (1 minute)

• Think about areas in your life where you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. These might be related to work, relationships, or personal time.
• Ask yourself: "In these areas, what do I need to feel respected and at ease?" Note any specific needs that come to mind.

3. Identify Your Limits (1 minute)

• Reflect on times when you felt your limits were pushed. These moments often reveal where boundaries are needed.
• Ask yourself: "What are my limits in these situations? What behaviors or requests am I not comfortable with?"

4. Envision Your Ideal Boundaries (1 minute)

• Imagine a situation where you are fully respecting your own boundaries. Picture how you would like to respond or act.
• Ask yourself: "What boundaries would make me feel safe, respected, and valued in these situations?"

5. Set One Specific Boundary (1 minute)

• Choose one boundary you’d like to set based on your reflections. It could be related to your time, energy, or personal space.
• Clearly define this boundary: "I will [specific action] to ensure that I am respecting my own needs."

• Take a few more deep breaths and gently bring your awareness back to the present moment.

Open your eyes and take a moment to write down the boundary you’ve identified.  Feel free to share in the chat if you are comfortable doing so.  

•   Be Clear and Direct: Clearly communicate your needs and limits.
•   Use “I” Statements: Focus on expressing your feelings and needs.
•   Practice Self-Care: Prioritize your well-being and recognize when to say no.
•   Be Consistent:  Reinforce your boundaries regularly.

Communicating Boundaries

• Stay Calm and Composed:** Maintain a neutral tone.
• Be Respectful:** Acknowledge the other person's feelings while holding firm on your boundaries.

Closing 

Thank you all for joining me today for the "Respect and Protect: Setting Effective Boundaries" workshop. I hope you found our time together valuable and that you are leaving with a better understanding of how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in your life.

To recap, we discussed the importance of boundaries for self-respect, healthy relationships, stress management, and personal empowerment. We also explored practical steps for identifying and setting your own boundaries, ensuring you can protect your well-being and lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.

As you continue your journey, remember that boundaries are a sign of self-care and self-respect. They are essential for your mental, emotional, and physical health. By setting clear boundaries, you create a safe and supportive environment for yourself and those around you.

I invite you to stay connected with me and continue your self-care journey by visiting my website at selfcareclub.org. It’s your one-stop shop for all things self-care. On the website, you can:

• Book personalized coaching sessions to get tailored support and guidance. 
• Access free resources to help you on your self-care journey.
• Download music that uplifts and inspires written & produced by me.
• Purchase affirmative apparel to express your commitment to self-care and empowerment.
• And much more!

Thank you again for being here. I look forward to connecting with you and supporting you as you continue to prioritize your well-being. Take care and remember to respect and protect your boundaries.